Enjoy yourself and listen to the words…don’t let the first words on the video sway you… this has very positive beliefs and thoughts. It is a theme song for MKMMA, at least for me!
Today, Thanksgiving, is all about looking inside and finding out what I do indeed want and how I stay stuck. I am grateful for how far I have come and do know that I am headed in a wonderful direction. The picture I have in my mind is lush and waves crashing, sand under my feet, and a smile on my face, dancing on the beach. The Aloha in Community warms my heart and energizes my body. That image goes with “What a Feelin’ “.
The Little Pink Book of Aloha is an interesting find.
I come out of a very powerful weekend, where I let things flow and rarely had opinions. It was smooth and wonderful. My son and I had an unbelievable connection with life and each other. He left and I later went in another direction: one full of self doubt and tension.
Law of Relaxation: Mental Effort defeats itself….a relaxed, calm state of mind, is the only doorway to progress mentally. Relaxation of thought is the only access to Infinite Intelligence.
I forget this too often accept during the sits, and then that is most sits not all sits.
At times I am confused when there seem to be contradictions in word usage or suggested practice. For example, “I make love my greatest weapon” seems like the wrong language with Love….so some time back I crossed out weapon and put force. Seemed better for me. Then there is this battleship that we are to understand the causes by which these effects were brought into existence. I jumped through it and went straight to the bottom (in my mind)… well it is the human need for power, aggression, territory and defense… So one can see this is a struggle for me, a real effort, not a calm perusal.
Not sure where I am going with this. What I do have is faith, that something grand will come of this. I experienced the grandness and awe in earlier weeks. Now I acknowledge the doubt and will let it pass through in an increasingly relaxed state. Resist not evil, but turn from it and move with other thoughts.
So the focus of my negative thoughts are about me now. Perhaps that is progress as it too will shift out.
So I totally stole this from Scott Scales! Except I was thinking the very same thing when I went to bed last night and the first email this morning was his. So it seems like a gift to kick start the Mental Diet.
I did take out the “wills” as I am finding that helpful.
To approach everything with love or at least respectful acceptance would change my world, perception and relationships. To do this would be doing the Mental Diet….
I greet this day with love in my heart. And most of all I love myself. For when I do I zealously inspect all things which enter my body, my mind, my soul, and my heart. Never do I overindulge the requests of my flesh, rather l cherish my body with cleanliness and moderation. Never do I allow my mind to be attracted to evil and despair, rather I uplift it with the knowledge and wisdom of the ages. Never do I allow my soul to become complacent and satisfied, rather I feed it with meditation and prayer. Never do I allow my heart to become small and bitter, rather I share it and it grows and warms the earth.”
I greet this and everyday with love in my heart.
Without the full commitment to the Mental Diet I am approaching the final weekend with the ex’s family. To big of an ordeal to go in full board. The Memorial Service is tomorrow. This is a long ordeal. So I am going to approach this with love in my heart…. closer to “freedomness” or forgiveness as discussed before, but with room to experiment.
This week I paid the full price for not paying attention with precision. This whole dog quarantine thing… the rules are different in Honolulu and Kauai…. Like 20 days difference in deadlines. So thinking I was more than good I bought airline tickets direct to Kauai…. well. Turns out Kauai has a 30 day timeline from departure where Honolulu has 10. I was multitasking many things, did not look with precision focus on Kauai and wow what a lesson.
Now writing Week 6 after the Week 7 Webinar changes things in my head. I am now thinking that my opinions stayed so strong as I was surrounded by people I had felt hurt by in some way, and betrayed, during the death of my ex mother-in-law. I hadn’t seen many of these people, including my ex in many many years… some over 25. Thus the resentment factor had resurfaced by a surprising force thus affecting my judgements in general. Getting to “forgiveness” with some of these folks wasn’t really my goal. I had every intention of not expressing my “issues” at a delicate time.
“Forgiveness” is something I have given a lot of thought to given various parts of my life experience and vocation. Joan Borysenko, many years ago, once tallked about the word “freedomness” from an act or person. This is considered when some of the acts seem unforgiveable or the person thinks forgiveness condones a harmful or destructive act. “Freedomness” in essence frees both parties from the behavior, much like described in todays seminar.
So I am back to forgiveness as really important. The resentment is a poison to me, I can feel it. It serves no purpose at this time, it does not increase my survival in any way. So these are my thoughts today, shortly after the Webinar. I did cross polinate from both weeks. So perhaps the 7th week, which will happen shortly may be more illuminating.
Mixing it up. I will begin this day with love in my heart.
For every you have missed, you have gained something else; and for every gain, you lose something. Compensation Essay.
My ex mother in-law died last night at 12:25 AM. This was a painful passing as she fought death against all odds and did not go peacefully into the night. Her adult children have been coming to Tucson, including my ex. I do not believe we have ever worked so cooperatively and peacefully together. This is a gift.
it is the circle:
to love means to risk
and to risk
means to lose
and to lose
means to mourn
and to mourn
means to embody love
Many endings, abrupt and close together. Tucson is closing doors. In the last week in my office, a photograph of a multitude of Tucson Doors fell off my wall while I was with a client. Shattered glass, frame and picture big scratches. It usefulness ended. The doors were closing, they were no more.
I carefully closed each relationship, some many years old, with careful respect, good byes, and referrals. Three people thanked me for saving their lives, the cards given revealed a great appreciation, I feel a new appreciation for the work I have done and am certain many left with the capacity to live their lives more fully.
The death of a dear friend, wife, brother, lover, which seemed nothing but privation, somewhat later assumes the aspect of a guide or genius, for it commonly operates revolutions in our way of live, terminates and epoch of infancy or of youth which was waiting to be closed, breaks up a wonted occupation, or household, or style of living, and allows the formation of new ones more friendly to the growth of character. Compensation Essay.
It has been awkward to work on the DMP and movie trailers and poster during the middle of endings. I think now my heart will begin to open to where I am clearly heading. There is no going back. The doors have shut.
One week left until the close of my office. Do It Now took a lead as I was floating off into space. The meaning of airhead took on a new meaning… leaving my keys on in my ignition while I read and drank coffee for over an hour, my wallet left in the parking lot, I lose a chart walking from my chair to my desk.
No one steals my car, a maintenance man returns my wallet with credit cards and drivers license intact. I am sure I will find that file. I never fear for someone stealing my car, never have, I have an economy car by choice… but that is not why I don’t fear it. I literally believe no one will steal my car, no one will steal my credit cards or identity. So if we expect to be safe, does that indeed increase our survivability? Now I don’t have this expectation in many areas and it doesn’t work out so well.
I have planned on moving to Hawaii for a few years… I even obtained a license. I was Maui focused and there were obstacles… in the end I became Kauai focused with some intervention by an amazing person, Heather Plude. Now strangely, or not so strangely, health issues forced my hand to take final action. So as this is unfolding, Heather, again, recommends MKMMA. So it seems like a good idea as I am rearranging my entire life. Turns out they are based in Kauai, and what energy M and D emanate…..
Synchronicity upon synchronicity… some I haven’t even mentioned.
During this really intense time, with amazing connections, and disconnections, I start to feel otherworldly. Two different people noticed it. One told me I needed to get grounded (also true: Do It Now…), the other says to me “you are getting ready for big changes it is like you are, can’t find the words here, but like hovering… (in some spiritual manner)”. My DMP is void in this area, it is like I can’t talk about it.
Calmer. Sleeping longer. Air headed doing all these tasks. Anticipation.
This is a very difficult week. My DMP is floundering, when it was flourishing. It is centered on fighting someone else’s definition of my career rather than what my heart knows. My feelings about my work are quite different than perceived and I find myself unable to find the words for another to clearly hear. It is an old pattern to try to get someone to understand that really can not. I know and have known that this is an old pattern, and that trying to be understood is not so important and a distraction from my journey. My subby is fighting to be heard and the gatekeeper is falling asleep. This is my old Blueprint for sure.
Perhaps the timing is not so bad as I experience it, as it is something I need to stop once and for all. If my gatekeeper were alert I could just shrug off the old Blueprint. It would be wonderful if I could get to this in a calm manner. Next week is the beginning of the last two weeks of my job as I know it. This is something to honor and savor. Let the calm begin in this transition and to totally honor the unfolding of time.
The 15 minutes is a life saver and something I cherish each morning and night. Sometimes I do it again.